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Physicians Must Have People Skills

July 21, 2011 By

You won’t find a real life doctor with zero people skills, like TV’s “House,” around the clinic these days. Future physicians are learning new techniques for achieving people skills and teamwork, according to a recent article in the New York Times. New thinking about medical outcomes emphasizes that doctors need clear lines of communication between the medical team, nursing staff and especially patients. Beyond medicine, executive coaching stresses first-rate people skills as an important factor in team and business-management.

What do I mean by “people skills?” For starters:

  • Talking without interrupting
  • Listening with empathy
  • Calmly and diplomatically handling disagreements

The social lessons being taught to doctors can easily be applied to executive coaching.

Here are a few tips on people skills and proper teamwork:

  • Dominating a brainstorming session or meeting hurts everyone when you don’t let others add to the conversation. Be thoughtful of your team and if you’re leading, make sure everyone has a fair say.
  • Make clarity a priority. Nothing ruins a project like a failure to communicate. Open dialogue will help keep focus and prevent confusion.
  • If there’s a problem with someone on your team, don’t single them out in from of everyone. Take them aside and quietly let them know what’s wrong. For all you know, they might not even be aware of the issue. Also, try to let them know what they’re doing right.

People skills don’t demand that we all become social butterflies. They ask us to be patient and understand those around us. Keep these concepts in mind, and you can be a better people person.

What people skills are the most important to you?

JS

Fire Your Therapist: The Coaching Formula for Success, available now.

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Wellness, Executive Coaching and the Spheres of Life

July 19, 2011 By

There is no shortage of dietary challenges we face day in and day out. Most Americans simply eat too much, lead inactive lifestyles and uphold unrealistic images of bodily perfection which are celebrated by the mass media. No matter what challenges you face, the right diet with the right exercise regimen can do wonders for your spirit, your mind and, of course, your body; an enhanced focus on your body sphere can improve your personal and professional life.

The SpheresTM approach to executive coaching touches upon improved diet and fitness, but these alone do not cover the body sphere. Instead, the focus is overall wellness, including an enhanced body image and ensuring your health is a primary concern. In fact, the body sphere can act as a foundation for improved longevity and can help you achieve high-energy performance.

Here are a few ideas to remember when trying to focus more on improving your body sphere:

  • Portion control is paramount. Rather than eating two or three larger meals in a day, try eating four-to-six small meals each day.
  • Breakfast should be your biggest meal of the day. Eating larger portions later in the day can negatively impact the body.
  • Eat healthy protein like chicken or grass-fed beef or legumes.
  • Avoid cheese, pasta, and white bread as much as possible.
  • Drink a glass of water several times a day.
  • Sleep 7-8 hours each night. Only a few people can thrive on less.
  • Exercise and leave yourself ample recovery time. Use weights, do cardio or any physical activity you enjoy.
  •  Yoga is often an excellent pursuit for balance, meditation, and flexibility.  Many athletes find it is synergistic with other sports.
  • Live without judgment of yourself and others.
  • See yourself in reality so that you may better focus on what areas of your life you’d like to improve.

What else would you add to your wellness plan? Leave your comments below!

JS

Fire Your Therapist: The Coaching Formula for Success, available now.

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Introversion as an Asset

July 14, 2011 By

Are you usually quiet in social situations? Would you rather enjoy a good book than hit a loud nightclub? In executive coaching, you’d be defined as an introvert: typically shy, low key and more inwardly thoughtful than outwardly expressive. According to an opinion piece in the New York Times, shyness and introversion might be considered not as symptoms of mental illness, but as healthy personality traits.

The article demonstrates that introversion can work well for a person. Executive coaches find a person’s strengths, and many individual strengths are in line with introversion.

A few takeaway insights from the perspective of an executive coach:

  • There are quite a few famous and successful introverts – Among them are Charles Darwin, Albert Einstein and Harry Potter creator J.K. Rowling. Even President Barack Obama displays certain traits of an introvert.
  • Introverts can have an advantage when it comes to leadership and managing a team. According to the article, they’re more likely to listen to others and implement their advice. They also have more humility then extroverts. Executive coaching encourages openness to feedback.
  • A thoughtful introvert can put the brakes on a bad business deal. The article explains that introverts are less impulsive then their extroverted counterparts. A cautious nature can stop a sudden major business decision from turning into a disaster.
  • Introverts often have no problem working alone. One famous lone worker is Steve Wozniak, the co-founder of Apple computers. According to him, most inventors, engineers and artists prefer to “live inside their own head.”

Being shy doesn’t make you sick. In executive coaching, it’s part of who you are. If you’re not a social butterfly or public speaker, then perhaps you’re a better thinker, planner or leader. It is always healthier to play to your own strengths, rather than yearn to be different.

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Stronger Than You Think

July 12, 2011 By

Intelligence, awareness and individualism are all excellent qualities to develop in executive coaching. Interestingly, these “differientators” may have caused problems during the high school years. A New York Times review of “The Geeks Shall Inherit the Earth,” a provocative new book by Alexandra Robbins, shows us that nerds often have successful adult lives.

Embracing who you are as an individual and making full use of your most positive, unique traits is what executive coaching is all about. Traits that arise in adolescence become integral to our character well beyond high school. The nerds in science, computers and theater might not have been star athletes or prom queens. But they have taken us to the moon, invented the iPod and written our favorite movies, books and plays.

Here are some survival tips from high school that remain relevant in our executive coaching work today:

  • Don’t be afraid of being original. Going against the grain is the first step to discovery and innovation. Look at Bill Gates who bucked the trend of complicated computers, created a user-friendly interface, and made a fortune.
  • Never be ashamed of doing what you love. Concentrating on your own happiness and fulfillment (as opposed to what you think others expect from you) will play an important role in everything from your job to your relationships.
  • Your uniqueness can be your strongest quality. Bullies and those privy to the whims of the group are often doomed to “peak” in high school. In adulthood, “yes-men” and “office sheep” won’t get much farther in life.
  • Embracing your personal AND unique qualities makes you stand out and commands the respect of your peers.

How does this apply to you? Leave questions and comments below.

JS

Fire Your Therapist: The Coaching Formula for Success, available now.

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What Can We Learn From New York’s Gay Marriage Victory?

July 7, 2011 By

On June 24, New York became the largest state in the nation to recognize gay marriage. According to a New York Times article, the state government approved it by 33 “for” votes to 29 “against.” Four Republicans ended up becoming the deciding votes by basing their decisions on their personal and professional feelings, rather then voting the party line. Had it not been for them, the vote could have been deadlocked.

Even Senator Mark J. Grisanti from Buffalo chose to remain undeclared after, by his own admission, struggling with his own party and with his personal opinions. He stated that he could not deny a fellow New Yorker the same basic rights he and his wife enjoy.

In executive coaching, it’s important to come to terms with change. What was once taboo can actually be accepted in time. Our values, opinions and goals may evolve. Humility and respect are often integral values involved in personal and professional growth.

New York’s groundbreaking civil-rights breakthrough can teach us a number of executive coaching lessons:

  • Though we may feel offended, or disagree with what’s popular, we must consider respectfully tolerating our differences.
  • For Senators like Grisanti, it became increasingly difficult to find a clear legislative reason to vote against gay marriage. If we don’t like a person, or group of people, it helps to ask why we don’t and if our position is reasonable. Quiet introspection is a very potent coaching tool.
  • According to the article, a statewide poll revealed the proportion of residents in New York supporting gay marriage ballooned from 37% in 2004 to 58% at the start of 2011. Society continues to change and evolve. Accepting changes over time may help us accept those we used to consider so different from us.
  • Lastly, remember legalization of marriage in one state is only one big step on this particular civil-rights front – an important one, but one that needs to become accepted more on a national level to have greater impact on the culture at large. This relates to the concepts of follow-up and maintenance in executive coaching – as you achieve new goals at work and in life, it’s important to stay focused on what’s ahead.

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JS

Fire Your Therapist: The Coaching Formula for Success, available now.

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Hero: Elena Bonner

June 30, 2011 By

On June 19 2011, Russian Human Rights activist Elena Bonner passed away at age 88. Her legacy includes a long marriage to the famous Soviet physicist and dissident humanitarian Andrei Sakharov. But she was a force all her own as an activist, fighting for human rights during and after the Soviet Union’s brutal Stalin regime.

Bonner grew up when dissidence and criticism of government was discouraged, to put it mildly. She and her husband’s abandonment of their Soviet government positions turned the KGB against them and led to their banishment from the country. Even in exile, they continued to push for human rights even after the USSR’s collapse.

Bonner stood up for those who couldn’t stand for themselves, even when it lead to scorn, hostility and exile. Her heroic example reinforces a few key executive coaching lessons:

  • Elena Bonner had great respect for people of all religions and faiths. Learning how to practice tolerance and acceptance, and to foster cooperation despite different points of view, is important for those who want to grow as leaders and people.
  • Bonner and her husband took a lot of flack when they fought for human rights. Do what you know is necessary, even if it doesn’t make you popular.
  • No one sphere of life exists independently of the others. Thus, it is important for business leaders to support, and sometimes join, global and local activists who are fighting for positive change.
  • According to Bonner, “The most deplorable teaching is the superiority of any nation over another.” To put it another way, arrogance is a dangerous enemy. If you consider yourself entitled or superior, you lose your true power in negotiations and your actions may make things worse for everyone involved.

We can’t all fundamentally change the course of a nation’s history, but those who fight for humanity and responsible freedom over tyranny are powerful examples for all occasions.

JS

Fire Your Therapist: The Coaching Formula for Success, available now.

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The Balance of Manhood

June 28, 2011 By

Former U.S. Rep. Anthony Weiner now joins the elite group of public officials who’ve damaged or destroyed their political careers over a bad decision. A New York Times op-ed article, “Those Manly Men of Yore,” looks at why powerful men make these kind of mistakes. The piece explains how, historically, sexual restraint was proof of a more capable man.

The idea of self-restraint is nothing new as writers from the Roman age celebrated men who controlled their desires, according the article. Obviously, many women have been in favor of greater restraint in men, in order to help protect family unity. (The author of this article happens to be female.)  Can greater restraint potentially strengthen the family and honor marital vows?   Possibly but the issue is greater than this question.  For each man, to be alive and strong, actually needs to strike a balance between restraint and pleasure.

The concept of managing oneself is important in my model of executive coaching. For example, it’s vital for those looking to quit smoking or excessive drinking to exert greater self-control. For those like Anthony Weiner, former California governor and Hollywood star Arnold Schwarzenegger, or struggling Presidential candidate Newt Gingrich, restraint theoretically would have saved both their careers and reputations.

However, in life, and in coaching, we discuss when there are  pulls in two directions, as there are with the forces of restraint and “nirvana.”   Nirvana, enjoying and living in the moment,  is the opposite of restraint.  This tension is managed by all throughout the life span.  All men deal with these tensions and generally strike a balance that works.   Each man finds himself in a unique situation, culturally, situationally (i.e, married/unmarried, living in a dictatorship or free country,etc.), and needs to determine his approach to this tension.

Some coaching ideas include:

  • There is nothing at all wrong with feeling physical attraction to someone, even if you’re in a relationship. But there is a difference between recognizing attraction and acting on it.
  • Unfaithfulness can belie a lack of responsibility in a married person (unless a couple is in an “open” relationship that is mutually agreed upon).  A lack of restraint is apparently far more serious in the public eye in a married man than in a single man.  Anthony Weiner “sexted” women while his wife was flying around the globe with Hillary Clinton.  In general, the public has a different standard for a married man.
  • Managing oneself  is apparently one component to leading a healthy lifestyle. Knowing how to manage habits such as food, drugs, gambling, and alcohol can prevent a lot of bad consequences.
  • If you are having difficulty with the tension between nirvana and restraint, consider talking to an executive coach or counselor who can help you get clear on what you want.

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Hero: Masao Yoshida

June 22, 2011 By

On March 12, as the world watched the unfolding disaster in Japan, a monumental decision was made at the Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Power Plant. The plant manager, Masao Yoshida, ignored a direct order from his company superiors to stop pumping the sea water that was cooling the reactor. In one act of defiance, Yoshida prevented another plant meltdown, saved thousands of lives, and exposed the troubled relationship between his company Tepco and Japan’s ruling government.

Yoshida’s actions and their aftermath are chronicled in a June 12 article from the New York Times. The piece suggests that the complacency of Tepco and the numerous bureaucrats surrounding the Japanese Prime Minster created a situation that left plant workers to fend for themselves. The move to stop the cooling of the Fukushima plant was not based on reason – it simply had to be done.

Thankfully, Yoshida received only a light verbal reprimand from his superiors. Though they may not admit it, his actions prevented a terrible situation from becoming worse. Masao Yoshida joins the leagues of those who’ve had to disobey in order to do the right thing.

We can learn a lot of useful coaching approaches from Yoshida and from those who came before him. “Deep Throat,” a/k/a W. Mark Felt, helped expose the Watergate scandal by divulging information to the Washington Post. During the reign of the Nazi Party in Germany, many Germans put their lives at risk to help Jews and other minority citizens hide or escape the country. Frederic Whitehurst exposed the inefficiency and lack of investigative rigor in the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Today, he oversees the Forensic Justice Project for the National Whistleblower Center.

What can we learn from these defiant heroes? Here are a few takeaway coaching tips:

  • Always do the right thing. Never rationalize destructive or ineffective behavior by claiming, “I did what was asked of me” – that will never be a suitable excuse.
  • If you fear that following your conscience will draw the wrath of your colleagues, consider the consequences of not doing the right thing. Think of how you will feel if you don’t take the risk and stand up for what you believe.
  • Remember that people doing the wrong thing often think they are right. When you follow your conscience, be prepared to face strong opposition with few allies.
  • Doing what you know is right is always, ultimately, its own reward.

When you take responsibility for following your own sense of what’s right, you may save lives or you may simply make things brighter in your own corner of the world. Whomever you are, this challenge is yours to accept.

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Lessons of a Washington Scandal

June 16, 2011 By

For the past week, U.S. Rep. Anthony Weiner has been harshly criticized for “sexting”: exchanging lewd photos with numerous young women, one allegedly a minor, during business hours as a member of the US House. The fact that he’s also married only make his situation more embarrassing. Politicians, editorial columns and President Obama have chastised him and challenged him to resign.
For an increasing number of Americans, “sexting” is an accepted part of flirting online, widespread in the age of Facebook, Twitter, and countless dating sites. But Weiner’s celebrity, his leadership role and his additional missteps have turned this personal foible into a damaging national scandal.
Regardless of how we might judge Rep. Weiner’s actions and the public’s reactions, we can agree that this episode has thusfar worked out quite badly for him. In my executive coaching work, I refer to this sort of impulsive, destructive behavior as spinning out of control, and I have developed techniques that can help you stop the spin, balance your perspective, and retake control of your life. If you find yourself in a situation like this, keep these things in mind:

  • If you’re sharing any information about yourself, particularly online, take a moment to think about how far it might spread and the damage it might do.
  • Know who you’re dealing with and don’t make assumptions. The anonymity of the internet makes it easy to interact with people who aren’t who they say they are. If Weiner flirted with a minor, whether he knew it or not, his personal issues may become legal issues.
  • Our personal relationships, especially with our spouses and families, affect every other aspect of our careers and our lives. Problems at home can never really be kept hidden. They must be addressed.
  • Remember that the online world is not separate from the real one. Don’t devote time and energy to sites like Twitter and Facebook if it detracts from your professional success.

With the opportunities of new technology come emergent risks. Rep. Weiner may resign his Congressional seat or he may lose his approaching re-election bid. (Right now, he appears to be leaning toward outright resignation.) His marriage may end or he may be able to save it and discover ways for his wife and himself to heal. Somehow, he will have to live down his public humiliation. The best that we can do is to learn from his example, know how to recognize the spin, and take control before we lose control.

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Understanding Change in Agriculture and Life

June 14, 2011 By

To avoid a global food shortage, changes may be coming to agriculture and food production. According to an article in the New York Times‘s environment section, “A Warming Planet Struggles to Feed Itself,” experts in food cultivation and farming warn of dwindling crops due to climate change.

The rise in temperature is hurting agriculture and causing a rise in food prices. Dwindling food stocks also threaten less fortunate countries with starvation. That is, unless the food business and the food itself change with the times.

Farmers and scientists are creating new innovations in developing crops that can handle the rising temperatures and the sudden changes in weather. (For example, the article examines one Indian farmer’s surprise success with a new variety of rice.) But they stress that our habits and our assumptions about how we eat must adapt to avoid high prices and low yields.

Sudden changes can be daunting, but keep in mind some of these coaching techniques:

  • Keep yourself in the loop regarding technology, the environment and the food we will be eating. Read newspapers and news websites to keep yourself current with what’s happening. Keeping current with today can help you prepare for tomorrow.
  • Plan ahead. If the price of food is higher, alter your budget and your shopping habits to meet those changes.
  • Don’t do anything drastic. Recall that in 1999, some were convinced that computers would go haywire on New Year’s Day 2000, sewing mass chaos. In the end, nothing happened to those who spent way too much buying needless supplies.
  • Understand that everything is subject to change. If you feel anxious about something you don’t understand, then research it for yourself. In the online age, there are countless resources dedicated to everything from basic biology to agriculture.
  • Don’t believe everything you read. Some resources are more objective and reliable than others.
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